"Dance- It's Very Free To Me"

"I think a lot of the people in my life are kind of a build up because like, if it weren't for my friends and especially my cousins who have been a crucial part of my life. Because I usually deal with a lot of stuff when it comes to family issues. But it's really nice to have friends surrounding me to make me feel comfortable or, like, comfortable enough to speak up and put myself out there. And they often take my mind off of things relating to any issues going on. 

I think freshman year was pretty big because a lot of the friends I have now I had met in freshman year, but there was like one point where I was so stressed over my first finals and stuff like that. And I was, I was like breaking down crying, and I had only known them for like, two months, maybe at most. And all of them were just super comforting. And they'd really helped motivate me and helped me study a lot. And especially like my older friends who were like sophomores and juniors, who already did their finals helped me get used to the stress. And that was really big, especially because even though we've only been friends for so little, their impact on motivation is so big.

  And the family issues were also hard- more specifically, like parental support, I would say. They have such big standards for me, and like, I do want to fit those standards, but also, it's not easy and it's hard for them to understand that sometimes. 

And I think those family issues just amplified during high school. Like, when I was little, I always wanted to, you know, like, be a doctor or go into a career that my parents would love -you know, Asian standard- lawyer, doctor, engineering. But like, when I was in elementary school and middle school they knew that like pushing standards on me. It didn't matter too much at that time, but I still wanted to, you know, feel validated by them. But then in high school, those high standards were definitely more prevalent and that's where all the big tests are and your grades really matter and more stress is added to me fitting their standards

 What I'm passionate about, right now, it took me so long to figure out but, I'm definitely passionate about my career path, which for me is nursing. Like psychiatric nursing. I started getting really into it, just this year- this was when I knew, I would be dead set on it.

  And actually over the summer of my sophomore year, one of my family members had some medical issues. And like, I would always go visit them and stuff like that. And I was surrounded by so many nurses. And what they did kind inspired me a lot. 

Especially because it was my mom that was the one going through those medical issues. She had a stroke, and I think between both of my parents, she's like, the one who pushed a lot of standards on me the most, so my relationship with her was kind of off and on. But I still do care about her. And like, just seeing her being hospitalized for like, two weeks or more, and constantly seeing her every day- That was like, really stressful. And I had to stay home by myself for a while, do my own grocery shopping, handling insurance and appointments, which was really hard.

 And that's the thing too, like after that happened I felt like I was growing up super fast. Which is not ideal. But yeah, so like, since the start of that it was super stressful. But I've definitely gotten used to the grocery shopping and stuff. And things are much better now. Like, she's better. 

As for a passion -I’m passionate about other things- Other than just like, my career paths. There's so many more aspects. Like dance, for example- I'm a self taught dancer. And to me, it's very, like, free. Because, I'm not inclined to one genre of dance like I'm inclined to my parents’ specific standards. I can kinda just get to do whatever I want to. I also auditioned for something regarding my dancing and singing and I passed the second round, but not the third round. But just knowing that, like, I'm capable of doing that made me more interested in dancing."